I'll Be Seeing You
by Woahmyninja
Summary: Ziva was biting her lip, fighting the tears threatening to spill over. "I can't get chemotherapy if I'm pregnant."


I'll be seeing you

 **A/N: This takes place a couple of months after Ziva's departure. *sobbing* Anyway, I basically ignored anything that happened after 11x2 except for Bishops presence, so if you're wondering why I haven't included some recent events that would be why. I wrote this on my phone last night at midnight so I'm sorry for any spelling/grammatical mistakes.**

Ziva closed her eyes. Her heart was beating fast. _This isn't right. This isn't right! It can't be._

"You...you must have mixed up the results..." She shakes her head wildly in denial. "No this isn't right."

She glanced at the man before her and tossed her lab results on the cot next to her. "This isn't right."

He shook his head, his expression grim. "I'm sorry Mrs. David, I know things like this can be hard to come to terms with but..."

"No." She cut him off. "I will not accept that!"

"I'm sorry, there is nothing that we can do."

"You don't get to say that! Stop shaking your head. Stop telling me you're sorry and do something about it!" She said fighting off a sob, mouth open.

"Mrs. David..."

A red mist swirled before her eyes. Heat burned through her veins and escaped her eyes. "I said do something! You're supposed to know how!" She roared. She swung an arm at the countertop and swept its contents to the floor.

Her chest billowed softly as the rage within her subsided.

"I could have finally been happy…"

Her eyes began to blur with tears, she covered her face with her hands, horrified by her own weakness.

"I'm so sorry Doctor. Thompson, I don't know what came over me."

Doctor. Thompson nodded, pushing up his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "That's quite alright dear." He clasped a hand on Ziva's shoulder and ran the other through his thin silver hair. "I'll give you some time to yourself."

The doctor slipped from the room, the door clicking shut behind him.

 _Stop it. Calm down._ She forced herself to breathe.

She lifted her head from her hands and looked at herself in floor length mirror suspended on the back of the door. "Ugh" she groaned, running a hand over her face.

Her hair stuck up at all sorts of odd angles and her face was swollen and tear stained.

She tore the black scrunchie from around her wrist and stuffed her rebellious hair into a makeshift ponytail. It didn't do much for her appearance but at least her hair was out of her face.

She allowed five minutes to regain her composure before gathering her belongings. As she moved toward the checkout desk she walked with her head down. Mortified by the tantrum she'd thrown only minutes ago.

At the check-out desk the receptionist looked as if she were going to dissolve into a puddle of tears. Sympathy swirled in her chocolate brown orbs and her voice quaked when she spoke. "I am so sorry…I couldn't even imagine…" It was hard for Ziva to believe that the news of her predicament had spread so quickly. So much for patient-doctor confidentiality.

Ziva cleared her throat. "How much?" She asked.

The woman behind the counter blinked, surprised by the brisk change of subject. "Uh…25.00."

Ziva forked over her visa, doing her best to avoid eye contact with the emotional woman behind the counter.

The woman handed Ziva back her card and she took it silently.

Her hands tremored as she struggled to force her card into the small slot of her wallet. After several failed attempts she gave up and slipped it into her pocket.

She nodded her goodbyes to the receptionist and pushed through the double doors into the crisp winter air.

After minutes of tedious searching she found her car. She shuffled to her vehicle as quickly as possible. Once inside, she inhaled deeply. She ran her hands over her frazzled hair, a futile attempt to get it to lay flat. Giving herself a once over in the rear view mirror she smacked her lips together, spreading the worn lipstick evenly over her lips then started the car.

She began to drive, arriving home sooner than he thought she used this time to gather her thoughts. She turned off the car. For several moments she sat in silence before turning the car back on.

* * *

Night had fallen and rain pelted the earth.

By the time Ziva arrived at her destination the rain had gotten so thick that only the street lights glow was visible through the mist. She contemplated waiting out the storm but after a moment's deliberation, decided against it. She jumped from her small car and into the sheet of precipitation. Wind and icy water needled her face as she ran through the downpour. Finally she reached a small alcove, upon her arrival she began to rummage through her purse, after minutes of searching she pulled out a silver chain with a key attached.

The chain slipped through her fingers and fell to the ground with a resounding _clink._ With a sigh of exasperation, she bent down to retrieve it but before she could get it in her palms it tumbled off her fingers again. This happened again more times than she could count but she was finally able to grasp them properly sooner or later.

Ziva rose to her feet with a huff. She tries to insert the key into the lock, only to miss.

She let out a muffled scream and tears of frustration threatened to boil over but valiantly she forced them down.

In frustrations wake, determination swelled within her and she tried once again, unsuccessfully to stick the key into the lock. Over and over again she jammed the key at the lock but her efforts were futile, she couldn't even see the door. Roughly she wiped her eyes, brought in a breath and screamed. Her voice resounded through the night like a battle cry.

She slammed her fist against the door, tears and a sob escaping her. She pounded and screamed until her skin was raw and her throat was hoarse.

Exhausted and defeated, she slid down the door and sank to her knees, her heart thundering in her chest.

"What have I done to deserve th-"

Suddenly the door slammed open.

She pitched to her knees and slid into the foyer.

She struggled to her feet and into a crouch, "I know I shouldn't be here…but I didn't know where else to come…"

The man before her stared at her, his moth agape.

She reached out for him. "Say something Tony."

She saw his chest catch and his eyes well with tears.

"Ziv." He croaked.

Tony stepped into her, wrapped his arms around her and all at once pulled her into his embrace.

His breath fanned her neck and his tears leaked onto her cheek. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be on the other side of the world."

Ziva buried her face into the warm plane of his chest. "I'm sorry…I didn't know where else to go."

He laced his fingers through her hair and tilted her chin up to him. "Don't apologize. You're right where you belong."

Though tears leaked from her eyes, Ziva smiled.

Tony pressed his lips to her forehead and rubbed his palms down the length of her arm. "I've missed you so much."

She looked at him, their faces only inches apart. "And I you."

His lips crashed into hers.

Initially his kisses were soft and plaint, but then the heat started. Gooseflesh danced across her skin and electricity pulsed through her veins. A wet warmth spread throughout her as her lips parted, letting his tongue dance and weave with hers. One of his hands grasped her face the other tangled through her wet tresses.

Her insides blazed and desire surfaced in its most primal form.

Tony hoisted Ziva up around his waist and walked towards the open door. Slamming it shut with her body he threw her against it.

She pushed her knee against the heat of his sex, ripping a soft groan of satisfaction from his throat in the process.

He kissed her again. On her neck, her shoulders, her lips. Anywhere that was physically possible without moving away from her touch.

She slipped her hands into his thin Cotton sweatpants, all the while never breaking her hooded hungry gaze.

He stared back at her with a similar expression as her fingers feathered up and down his inner thighs teasingly.

Burying his face in the crook of her neck he led her hands to his throbbing manhood.

He held still as her hands roamed over him. With a twist and a flick of her wrist she pumped him from base to tip. He jerked into her palm, a sigh escaping him.

As she stroked him, he slowly wound his hands around her waist and dug his thumbs into the waistband of her jeans, and eased them and her silk panties off with some of her assistance.

She slipped her hands off of him, trailing them up the hard planes of his chest as he slipped into her throbbing core.

As her lips parted in pleasure he plunged his tongue inside her mouth. She gasped into his mouth and her hands wound tightly in his messy caramel locks.

"Ugh…that's right." He growled, his eyes flickering shut for a brief second in pleasure.

She gasped, her hands winding tighter in his tresses. Her hips bucked in earnest with each of his magnifying thrust.

Her hips rocked in tandem rhythm with his, her lunacy fed by his deep throaty groans.

"Oh…oh…oh…" Ziva moaned. Her eyes rolled back in her head, she flooded his manhood with a surge of wetness that erupted from her core.

"Oh…I'm going to cum." She breathed. The sudden eruption that burst from her core took her surprise. She began to cry out, thrashing her core against his, somehow hoping to satisfy the burning desire. Her body arched against his and her voice rang up several octaves, her legs shook and her pulse pounded.

He went rigid from the abdomen up with a string of curses as she tightened over him.

His hand flew to her hips, pulling her flush against him.

She could feel his primitiveness and desperation growing. With each of his punctuated thrust his breaths became shallower. "Ziv-ah...I can't." He warned.

"Then don't. I want you to..."

A glass shattered.

Both Tony and Ziva's heads snapped in the direction of the disruption. There stood a gangly blonde, her face crumpled like paper.

* * *

"Bishop..." Tony gasped.

She stormed away, her blonde hair fanning out behind her.

Tony's jaw ticked as he slid out of Ziva. He avoided eye contact with her. He couldn't bear to see the pain in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as he bent don't to retrieve their discarded clothing.

Ziva blinked away tears as she took her pants from his outstretched hand and fumbled into them.

"Ziva I'm sorry-" Her face changed right before she slapped him-it was hot, rigid and far away. Her face was hard as stone and her eyes burned with a hellish fever.

He brought his hand to his cheek, his skin prickled and his eyes watered over.

Ziva turned away from him, chest heaving she ripped the door opened and plunged into the frigid winter air.

Her eyes stung and her throat burned, tears spilled over onto her cheeks, blurring her vision.

Her thoughts were ablaze and her feet felt heavy.

The night was quiet except for the echo of her bare feet slapping against the concrete and she bolted down the walkway.

She could hear him calling out for her behind him but she didn't stop. She wanted to, she wanted him to have a logical explanation, but she knew that he wouldn't. So she couldn't stop. She couldn't do anything but run.

It was raining again by then, drops of water fell relentlessly on her and whipped at her cheeks at she cut through the air.

She looked over her shoulder, down the sidewalk, searching for him, but he's disappeared.

She blinked from shock and tears, wondering how she could have been so foolish.

She clenched her eyes shut, willing away the pain. When she opened them again a figure stood before her.

"Oh!" She jerked to a halt, breathing hard, she put her hand to her chest. "Damn it Tony!."

Tony moved quickly into her path. "I'm sorry...I had to catch up to you."

Her chest billowed and her hair fell into her eyes. She put her hands on her hips and turned away from him.

She chewed on her lip, a wry chuckled escaping her. "I cannot..." She drew in a deep breath, turning to him. "I cannot believe you."

"Ziva please..." He reached toward her; she shrunk away.

Her eyes clouded. "What for? What could you possibly say that could make this better?" She jabbed a finger at him. "I trusted you and you...you used me."

"No, Ziva. No."

"And you lied to me." Her pointed finger hung in the air." All this time...you made me believe that you cared about me, but you do not. You do not care about me, or that girl. You only care for yourself."

"Of course I care about you! God, Ziva I care about you so much. Hell, if anything I care about you to much." He bounced on the balls if his feet, hands in his pocket. "When you were gone, you were all I could think about. I couldn't sleep...I barely ate...I felt like someone has ripped out a piece of me. Ziva… you broke me."

"That girl in there was wearing your button down…oh yes you must be _so_ broken." Bitter sarcasm dripped from her words.

He spun on her. "Well what the hell did you expect?! You left me Ziva! _You_ left me."

"You think that it was easy for me? Leaving you, was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do!"

He scoffed incredulously. "It sure as hell didn't look that way to me." His lips drew back over his teeth and pain flashed across his features. "God, why didn't you just stay away? Why did you have to come back? I was doing fine without you here! I wasn't whole yet but damn it I was coping. Then you come back… and screw it all up."

Ziva opened her mouth, but no words came out.

She was wrong before, when she said leaving him was the hardest thing she'd ever done. This was going to be the hardest.

She walked to the curb at a slow, turbulent pace and sank to it. She patted the concrete. "Sit." She said.

He huffed over to her nostrils flaring, but did not oblige.

"Tony, sit" Ziva said.

He shook his head. "I'm fine."

She breathed a sigh of exasperation.

After a beat she said, "I...came back because...my condition required more...extensive treatment." Saliva pooled in her mouth and she twirled her thumbs anxiously.

He blinked, his face a mask of confusion.

She looked at her feet, a sob clawing at her chest. "I am sick Tony. I have a...stage four, thyroid cancer...I'll be lucky if I last the year."

Tony's mind raced. He tried to force it to slow down, but he couldn't.

He drew in a shaky breath, his fingers clenching. "That's uh...that's..."

She looked at her feet swallowing thickly. "Yes, I know."

He scanned the sky, fresh tears welling up. "I just got you back Ziv, now you're telling me that I'm going to loose you again?"

He turned to her and cleared his throat, hoping his voice would stay level. "What are they doing for you?"

She wiped her clammy hands on her thighs. "Nothing."

His eyes flared up. "What do you mean, nothing?"

"There is nothing left to do." She put her hand in his. "It's only a matter of time."

Her eyebrows knitted together I'm confusion. "What? That's bullshit there is always something that can be done!"

"Like what Tony?! Its terminal!"

Tony blinked, gazing down at her. "You haven't tried anything have you?"

Pressing her lips together, she let her eyes flutter shut. "There was no point. By the time I found it, it too late. It would have made no difference."

The muscles in his jaw ticked and tension poured off him in waves. He sank to his knees, so that he was level with her. His face was tight and his eyes were like glass. "It would have made _**every**_ difference." He spat. "It would have given you a chance! It was no guarantee but it was a chance Ziva!" He pulled his hair and screamed in frustration. "God damn it Ziva how could you have been so stupid!"

Ziva was biting her lip, fighting the tears threatening to spill over. "I can't get chemotherapy if I'm pregnant."

 **A/N 2: So I'm really nervous because this is my first story in god knows how long so drop some reviews y'all, let me know what you want to see in the next chapter, ect…**

 **A/N 3: Ziva is at the end of her first trimester here, which explains why she is barely showing.  
**

 **-Much love**


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